Casual relationship advice and tips for short or long term relationships
We can all have good reasons to want to keep a relationship casual, ranging from:
- not wanting a serious relationship following a relationship break up,
- to working long hours or unsociable work hours or working a shift pattern meaning you could find it hard to commit to a serious relationship,
- to just wanting to have a bit of fun and keep things laid back,
- or even getting back together with an ex partner and wanting to keep things casual.
Casual relationship rules
How agree the casual relationship with your partner to make it work? It may be easier to set up or start a casual relationship at the start of the relationship and to be upfront with what you want. Not discussing this can lead to problems later on with either of you having misleading expectations. A casual relationship may not be what you both at the moment so a degree of compromise may help, especially as you both may want to keep your options open for things to change in the future, but at the same time leave the relationship casual to see how things develop. Try and chat it over to see what you both think or would like or maybe even setting some casual relationship rules. This can be difficult in itself because since it’s a casual relationship it might be difficult to keep things relaxed and laid back if you are trying to discuss something seriously to your relationship at this stage.
How actually work the casual relationship?
The day-to-day lifestyle of a casual relationship can mean different things to different people. To some it could mean
- not seeing that much of one another and/or just seeing each other when it suits,
- not having any emotional ties to one another,
- having nothing physical between you sometimes known as a platonic relationship,
- not keeping the casual relationship exclusive to one person or maybe having more of just a "fling".
Depending on if you are used to dealing and coping with casual relationships or if you’re pretty new to the experience, may change what you expect from the casual relationship. Either way though it could viewed that since it is a casual relationship, one of the advantages may be that you both don’t have to worry how you deal with this kind of relationship. But at the same time this aloofness in itself, this non-committal viewpoint may also be one of the disadvantages of a casual relationship.
How to make a casual relationship serious
We all change our minds or our feelings and desires can change as time goes on, or you realise you really like him or her and want to take things further. If your feelings start to move this way it may help to be upfront and tell your partner. If you already know that your partner will still want the casual relationship to continue and not go serious, not telling them can make it very difficult for you, the casual relationship can be hard to keep going as you may have to compromise on things your feelings and emotions don’t want to compromise on. Also mentioning your thoughts can introduce the idea of a serious relationship into your partners mind which they may not have recently considered or not realised that the casual relationship status of your relationship may not be suitable anymore. But at the same time it may help for you to weigh up if you want to risk ending the casual relationship to pursue the maybe more serious, or exclusive relationship. It may be hard to continue the casual relationship once you have indicated that you want to go steady or serious.
Casual relationships can certainly sometimes have some advantages and it can be more convenient for you for now, although the disadvantages can also sometimes cause “heartache” and be challenging in an emotional way to deal with.