Advice if you suspect your partner of cheating on you
If you suspect your partner of cheating and think there may be signs of a cheating spouse it can be really difficult to handle yourself, the situation and your husband, wife, boyfriend or girlfriend who you think might have cheated on you. Jealously, envy and sensitivity are all natural personality traits that can cause your imagination to get carried away and bring thoughts of cheating, lying, dishonesty and deception. And once your imagination starts to “run away with itself” your emotions can run high and it can be hard to be rational, be calm and assess things logically.
Why do you suspect your partner of cheating?
What’s caused you to suspect your partner of cheating? Have you got what you think is physical proof or is it a general feeling that has built up through the way they’ve been acting or behaving? Suspecting your partner, boyfriend, girlfriend is cheating could sometimes be almost be as bad as if it were really happening. Love, trust and depending on your partner can all be very badly damaged or even destroyed if you suspect they are cheating. It can eat away at you, your feelings and emotions. So before you go down this path try and figure out the likelihood of your partner of cheating. If you think it is a good idea to gain some advice from other people, friends and family may be able to help you to think rationally, and try help and advise you to figure things out. Also if in the end you find out that your wife, husband, boyfriend, girlfriend, etc were not cheating you may feel really bad, really guilty for not trusting them, so in the long term it can be helpful to put effort into understanding the situation. To make it certain in your mind it can maybe be tempting to try to catch your partner cheating, in some circumstances some people even hire a private investigator, although if you suspect your spouse is cheating in the long run the fact there is that suspicion can potentially be damaging enough for the relationship.
You are convinced or you know your partner is cheating
It can be common in this situation to trigger self-defence mechanisms within yourself to protect you. There is a theory relating to our pre-historic human traits known as a “fight or flight” response; in other words you want to run away, try and get away from the situation (this is the "flight" of the "fight of flight") or alternatively that you tackle the issue head on and want to confront your partner who you suspect of cheating (this is the "fight" of the "fight or flight"). This may or may not be true for you as in these stressful situations we can end up doing unexpected things or actions. It may help to try and ask yourself if you know what you want to happen, but you may not be ready to actually be able to answer that question. If you feel your tendencies are towards “flight” or otherwise put it to run away, look after yourself and don’t forget those basic things you need in life, not limited to food, somewhere to live and your safety. If you feel you want to deal with things head on, it might help to write things down on paper to get your thoughts onto paper so that you can read them back later to yourself or to your partner so that you have structure to the confrontation. It may also help to have a friend or family member with you if you think this is suitable or may help.
Do you want the relationship to carry on?
Cheating can affect those things a lot of people hold dear in a relationship including trust. Whether you want to go on or not with the relationship or to wait a while to see how you feel will inevitably be up to both of you. Cheating can be a sign that other parts of the relationship had broken down, although this still does not mean that cheating is okay but understanding why it happened can sometimes help in the long term to move on be able to deal with the cheating.
What happens if the relationship ends?
Cheating ending a relationship and causing a relationship break up can be hard to deal with. Sometimes because it can be unexpected, you still have feelings for them but they have hurt you too much, the trust is gone to be able to continue the relationship. The article relationship break up advice may be able to provide some help.
Feeling that you have been cheated on is a very difficult situation to be in and you can have lots of opposing thoughts. Taking your time to assess the situation, your options, what you want to try and achieve can potentially help you both think more clearly.