After the first date

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Dating All Hours - What to do after the first to dateWhat to do after the first date

Was it exciting and there was some real chemistry, do you want a second date? Was it the worse date ever?! Or are you just not sure?

After the first date, you could be in two minds as to what to do. The date could have gone really well, you "clicked", maybe there was a bit of chemistry. On the other hand the date could have been a bit of a disaster, they were nothing like their online dating profile photo, all they did was talk about themselves or too many awkward silences! Or it could be somewhere in between and now you're not sure what to do; should you text them the next day, did they like you, maybe they were nice but you're not sure how much physical attraction there was, or the other way round, or you're worried you don't have enough in common. Obviously there could be any manner of different reasons but the point is you don't know what to do!

First date success

Yey! Do you want a second date? That's great if it went well. Do you think the date went equally as well for your date? Have you texted them yet, have you had a message from them? What could you do on your next second date to get to know each other better? What things do you both like, what do you have in common that you could find out more about to chat about on your next date? What are both your work hours so you can figure out when best to next meet to fit dating around work?

First date fails

Oh no I hope it wasn't too bad. It can be difficult when you're trying to impress and make a good first impression and then it does wring. We must of all heard of everyone having a first date horror story? So it happens to everyone and is just the natural course. (In fact a friend of mine was so embarrassed on a first date when by accident they let out a noisy first date fart! They had to pretend they had a cough to try and divert the attention... although it wasn't so easy to divert the smell! It was obviously terrible at the time but they laugh about it now.) You've got to pick yourself up, remind yourself how amazing you are and keep searching. What one thing would you have done differently, is there anything you wouldn't do again?

Are there rules after the first date?

If you're not sure what to do after the first date, you may have a few options:

  • You could do nothing, wait for your date to get in touch with you and take it from there. Sometimes it can be best not to make a definite decision and let these things gain a momentum (or not as the case may be), because often we're not sure what we want. I often hear about people getting together, getting married, who get on really well but if in the first place they had been specifically looking for what they thought they wanted they might never have got together. This could be seen, by some, as letting fate decide. Alternatively not doing anything might be seen as being a little rude, or missing out on an opportunity, not exploring your options.
  • You could follow up the date with a polite text or email, as an idea maybe saying thanks for meeting up, it's nice meeting new people. You could choose the phone call option (although it is likely at some point in the conversation the idea of meeting up again or not might be raised) and find that you feel you have a better knowledge about them.
  • You could go on a second date. After all some might say we only live once so you can always give these things another chance. Maybe first date nerves got the better of either of you and a second date would run more smoothly, or perhaps the date setting or location didn't really suit you both so you could try somewhere more relaxed, casual or impress your date with somewhere more formal, more impressive. Or you could go on what might be termed a "hybrid-first-second" date which isn't a first date as you've already sort of had that but not a second date as either of you might want to keep things loose, flexible and also choose a location/activity not normally associated with dating, like meeting in the library or at the shops, etc.

Either way dating can sometimes be a bit of a minefield but the important thing to remember is to try not get stressed or anxious about it, it can be enjoyable just meeting new and different people and you never know where things might lead. Good luck!

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