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Proposing marriage and getting engaged

Deciding if he or she is the one to marryDating All Hours - Proposing marriage and engagement proposal ideas

How exciting!! This can be a great time of life and can be a nice thing to be thinking about! Relationships sometimes can have their hard times and when you get to the stage that you've decided you both want to spend the rest of your lives together, to get engaged to be married, that can be really great.

Are you ready to get engaged to marry?

This is difficult to provide advice about as it is obviously very much up to you to know this. It can potentially help to think about the marriage and the vows that you would make to one another on your wedding day. Marriage is something which some couples openly discuss but to others something that is not often discussed and when it is discussed hints and indications are used rather than direct questions and requests. The latter can make it hard to know if you're both ready to take this step, although to overcome this you could discuss it but it may not always be as romantic to discuss it in great detail before the proposal. This is because this may removal that element of mystery and romance that, with a positive result, can be a great experience and one you will always remember. It may help to highlight that by proposing marriage and getting engaged in a way you are making a decision for both of you. Therefore in your mind you need to make sure you've considered that the engagement is something you both want at this time. The words "at this time" is important because although you may be excited and you don't want to wait any longer, giving it a little more time may help to achieve a better answer in the long term.

Planned engagement proposal or spare of the moment

This will depend upon the type of person both you and your partner, boyfriend, girlfriend, etc. A spare of the moment proposal can be very exciting for both of you, the spontaneity and chemistry can be electrifying and an experience you will both probably remember for a long time. It also has the benefit that it may need little in the way of organising, which can be difficult to arrange if you want the proposal to be a surprise. However if you do intend to follow this path, you may not have had time to organise or purchase an engagement ring and so you may be considering proposing without a ring. It may be worth highlighting that in a lot of cultures it is still an expectation that an engagement ring is produced for the wedding proposal, although alternatively the advantage of proposing without a ring can give you the opportunity for your fiancé to choose the ring they might like. This approach of proposing last minute can obviously have its risks though and since you only want to do it once the risks may outweigh the benefits.

Alternatively on the flipside, trying to plan the engagement and how you propose can be more hard to organise and be a little stressful especially as you'll want it to go well. But the time, effort and thought you've put into it (ranging from the type of engagement ring you choose, to the location setting of the proposal, to the words that you say) can show not only that you wanted the proposal to be a nice memory and experience but that it means a lot to you. It can help to remember though that it may only be possible to organise some of parts of the engagement and not possible to arrange everything to the last detail. An example of this is if you wanted to propose on holiday and so you may not be sure of the location or proposal setting, and so some things may have to be left to chance.

How to propose and marriage proposal ideas

Although this may sound obvious to some, you are asking an important question and in the long term it is worthwhile to have an honest and genuine answer to your wedding proposal. Therefore it may help to make sure you ask your partner in a way and in a situation that they still feel comfortable to answer genuinely. This give an example, this may be hard to achieve if you propose marriage to your partner in front of a group of friends and family or in quite a public place. It is also worth considering traditions, for example, asking the permission to marry of your partner's parents. This is a tradition in a lot of cultures and although it may not be important to you, it could be very important to your potential fiancé as well as being a sign of respect to your potential father-in-law and mother in-law.

What if your girlfriend or boyfriend says no, the wedding proposal fails?

If you are planning the marriage propose, this is something that may not be pleasant to consider especially when you're putting your energies into thinking of something positive such as a marriage proposal. However even just realising that it still may be a possibility that the wedding proposal fails when it comes to your partner answering your proposal, could be enough to help you prepare potentially for this situation. Often you can imagine things and guess how you would react in any situation, but when it comes to the "crunch", the actual moment not everyone acts as expected. So what if your partner actually says no when you propose? First of all, is it a definite "no" or was it more a "no not at the moment"? If it was a definite "no" this can be very hard to deal with, and your thoughts may move onto questioning your future together. Remembering that a wedding proposal is also a hard question to answer especially as it is for the rest of your life so your partner's response could always be put down to a little bit of shock as well. Some people don't like to think too far into the future, living each day by day, and so the thought of marriage can potential be too much to take on board currently. It may be wise to not make any hurried decisions about your future relationship together as something like this can maybe take a little time to sink in. If the wedding proposal fails it can also feel like a form of rejection (the article on dealing with rejection may be a help) which again can always be hard to deal with and this can make you feel worse if it is coupled with feelings of ending the relationship (the article on relationship break up may potentially be of help if unfortunately you do break up).

If your partner's asnwer to your wedding proposal was perhaps more of a "no at the moment", then it could be that you both need more time. How much time will obviously depend on you both, because although your partner may need more time to make a decision regarding marriage, it may be that you are prepared to only wait so long. At the same time to try and help manage your expectations it might be worth considering that unfortunately your partner's reponse might have been because they didn't actually want to say or couldn't bring themselves to say the absolute truth that they didn't want to get married. This again may be very hard to deal with and try and sort out for your relationship and the future.


Proposing marriage can be a hard decision to make as it can be a big step for your relationship. It can also be a very exciting time for both you and your partner as well as friends, families and relatives. Good luck to you both and a happy and healthy future.

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Related links:

  • Proposing marriage
    Marriage proposal ideas and deciding if he or she is the the one to marry

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